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syncope at 04:22pm on 07/12/2010
syncope at 04:22pm on 07/12/2010Do you suppose Nigella really makes fresh strawberry sauce at 1 in the morning while wearing satin pjs? Hilarious crack!AU: Nigella and Eames are related, cue hijinks.
Which brings me to:
Competency Meme (do I need to put Inception on this? I mean, I don't really talk about anything else here right now besides cooking, right?) I know this will appeal to several of you.
I'm feeling very virtuous as I signed up for this seminar on Friday THAT STARTS AT 8 IN THE MORNING even though I could have put it off for another month and not gotten up at what amounts to the middle of the night for me. But I sucked it up and just went ahead and got it over with. When I got home there were three posts BACK TO BACK on my lj of Tom Hardy ready to ruuuuuuuuuuumble. I believe you're probably familiar with this picture by now since it was also on your flist. This was the universe saying "good job, now you get to fuck off with a clear conscious!" THANK YOU, UNIVERSE, I BELIEVE I WILL WRITE COMMENT FIC!
(The Nigella and Eames thing is really cracking me up. And it's barely even crack compared to...say juicebox inceptions--which is a work of genius. What juicebox inception, you ask? boggle! You can thank me with picspam.)
Which brings me to:
Competency Meme (do I need to put Inception on this? I mean, I don't really talk about anything else here right now besides cooking, right?) I know this will appeal to several of you.
I'm feeling very virtuous as I signed up for this seminar on Friday THAT STARTS AT 8 IN THE MORNING even though I could have put it off for another month and not gotten up at what amounts to the middle of the night for me. But I sucked it up and just went ahead and got it over with. When I got home there were three posts BACK TO BACK on my lj of Tom Hardy ready to ruuuuuuuuuuumble. I believe you're probably familiar with this picture by now since it was also on your flist. This was the universe saying "good job, now you get to fuck off with a clear conscious!" THANK YOU, UNIVERSE, I BELIEVE I WILL WRITE COMMENT FIC!
(The Nigella and Eames thing is really cracking me up. And it's barely even crack compared to...say juicebox inceptions--which is a work of genius. What juicebox inception, you ask? boggle! You can thank me with picspam.)
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BUT IT'S PROBLEMATIC BECAUSE HE HAS A LIFELONG CRUSH ON NIGELLA.
And Arthur, who is partnering with him for this one for whatever reason, is annoyed and baffled because WTF she is just some middle-aged TV chef. Meanwhile Eames is watching old VHS tapes of Nigella licking whipped cream off her fingers and eyefucking the camera whilst husking bad puns about tasting things.
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Arthur watches the clips on youtube and he's maybe had a bit too much to drink when BOOM! he gets it and he almost feels awkward for half a second then just feels smug because he leaves several scathing comments on the vids to pepul whu spel liek this.
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BUT SERIOUSLY I'VE DECIDED THAT FROM NOW ON EAMES ALWAYS HAS AN INTENSE AND UNIRONIC CRUSH ON NIGELLA. HE HAS A VERY SERIOUS TALK ABOUT IT WITH ARTHUR WHEN THEY FIRST GET TOGETHER: if he ever gets the chance to fuck Nigella Lawson, he will do it. That Is The Rule.
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I'm sure they have exemption lists, and unlike most couples, they really mean them. I can't imagine either of them really giving a fig about having an open relationship in general (sorry OTPers, please don't stain the rug with your tears).
WHO ELSE IS ON THEIR LISTS?
OH, MAYBE EAMES COOKS, TOO, WHICH IS PART OF HIS NIGELLA THING. EAMES HAS AN APRON STASH AND HAS OPINIONS ON NON-STICK COOKWEAR AND PERHAPS ISN'T KIDDING WHEN HE TELLS PEOPLE IF THEY TOUCH HIS KNIVES THEY WILL BE USED ON THEM.
Saito is, of course, on both of their lists.
ALTERNATIVELY ARTHUR HAS A LIST OF WILDLY UNEXPECTED AND/OR INAPPROPRIATE PEOPLE. LIKE JACK NICHOLSON, OR STEPHEN COLBERT, OR THE WOMAN WHO USED TO BE THE WEATHER GIRL IN THE NEW JERSEY TOWN WHERE HE GREW UP, AND HIS TATTOO ARTIST, AND THE LEAD SINGER OF NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL WHO IS MARRIED AND A HERMIT BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
Re: Saito is, of course, on both of their lists.
I will eventually write the fic where Arthur loves Leonard Cohen and sometimes doodles his lyrics in his work notebook that no one ever sees, and his teenaged daydream was to move to Greece and live near LC and every once in a while Arthur's dreams are all white washed cottages and aquamarine seas and high cliffs and everyone thinks it's pomo and ironic because it's like a postcard in a gyro shop, but it's actually Arthur's real subconscious bleeding through.
Ok, Arthur doesn't believe in lists because he thinks if he really wants to sleep with someone that much, he'll do whatever the fuck he wants, Eames's histrionics be damned (but the guy really has no room anyway). Picking up people is dangerous and time consuming when you're on Interpol's most wanted, which is how he ended up sleeping with Eames of all unsuitable people anyway--ease of access and plausible deniablity.
Re: Saito is, of course, on both of their lists.
Re: Saito is, of course, on both of their lists.
Re: Saito is, of course, on both of their lists.
Re: Saito is, of course, on both of their lists.
I keep trying to rewatch the movie for characterization, but I get distracted. I like Arthur to be playful, I suppose.
Saito is too busy with his mistress to bother.
It is distracting. I blame his pants.
I think Arthur is playful, when he feels he can afford it. In any case I think he has a fantastic sense of humor, which he does not reveal to all and sundry. (Disclaimer: I have about five versions of Arthur running around in my head at any given time.)
ETA: Damn, Nigella Lawson is FINE.
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Not picspam but made me laugh when I saw it on FNH this morning:
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Nigella and Eames are related, cue hijinks.
this is the best idea ever
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If only I was 100% more able to write their posh shenanigans, I would make it for you, my dear.
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OH DEAR GOD.
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