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I just closed a tab that was a page on Henry Jenkins' website. My friends suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I attempted to wade through that ponderous prose and just gave up and asked for a summary. Yet I kept the tab open...thinking I would read it? Idk.

Seriously, do I need to read the books? I am inclined to read them so I can negotiate the show from the proper perspective, but I hesitate as I was burnt on THAT OTHER VAMPIRE CRAPFEST TEEN SERIES. How bad are they, with Twilight as the gold standard?

Are there coms and junk yet? I just dumped all the ontds off my fl so I have room for new garbage coms I can scroll over.

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The gold standard of suck, my dear. So yes.

IDK, I think the Twilight books were actually better than the Southern Vampire Mysteries in a way*. I mean, no matter how rubbishy it gets, you can't stop yourself from reading more and more, because you can't actually believe this shit got published. I subscribe to the fandom_wank theory of Godzilla vs. Picard (http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1186311.html?thread=191740679&format=light#t191740679) when it comes to Twilight, really. Seeing the actual movies were just an extension of the epic trainwreck.

On the other hand, I never would have been interested in reading the Southern Vampire books without first having seen True Blood.

*Not better in the "has any measurable literary merit and/or value" kind of way, but better in the "OH GOD I CANNOT STOP READING THIS SHIT SEND HALP" kind of way. Also the lulz-worthy content is exponentially higher in Twilight.

Really? Idk, I think the lulzworthy aspects of the Sookie were much much higher. Who was it that said the books are an advertisement for home owners insurance? I mean, COME ON. Those books are clearly ff.net fic Sookie wrote herself and she couldn't even manage to make herself interesting! She reminds me of Anita Blake w/ the rhapsodizing about her fug clothes and how hot she looks in mom jeans. Bella...just makes me want to drown her.

Yeah, but the Southern vampire books read like normal, overwrought, starry-eyed YA romance novels. Twilight is like a bad, bad acid trip inside the stroke-crippled mind of a timidly horny Barbara Cartland.

IDK, I think maybe I enjoy the sociological mindfuckery aspect of Twilight the most. I mean, here are the 4 most ridiculous, stupid, worthless, UTTERLY SHIT books to grace the earth, and they are best fucking sellers. Little girls and grown women alike are losing their fool minds over this sorry shit, screaming like cretins and sobbing and messing their pants over the alleged love story of an obnoxious bratty gimp and her creepy controlling stalker. WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT HUMANITY? (Obvsly it says that humanity should be exterminated by extraterrestrials.)

As for Bella vs Sookie, bitch plz. Bella Swan should be pushed into a woodchipper. Everyone knows this. Sookie, however, is an entertaining idiot who should be rewarded with nommy treats and extra walkies and perhaps a new squeaky toy.

I really really hate Sookie MOAR OKAY?

It's mostly because of the whole aspect where I think that Whatever Her Name Is thinks that Sookie's a decent human being and that scares and torments me. She's a heinous hosebeast and people just like her ruin everything nice in the world.

Bella is so unrealistic/one dimensional she doesn't bother me as much. BUT CARRY ON AS YOU MAY!

I hope when the aliens come to kill us all I'm asleep.

~~YOU ARE WRONG AND YOUR OPINION IS WRONG AND YOU ARE A BAD PERSON AND SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR BEING WRONG ON THE INTERNETS. BADLY. AND WE MUST NOW ENGAGE IN INTERNETS FISTICUFFS.~~

I MEAN. WHAT.

Yeah, true, Sookie is presented as someone who is Always Doing The Right Thing, which is pretty stupid and gross. And there's a lot more of the "justifying bad decisions" going on with her as well.

Look, dammit, my entire point here (OK YES BADLY MADE I ADMIT) is just that I liked reading Twilight better because there was so much more "OMG WTF IDEFK HALP" going on inside my head at the time. Obvsly this is because I enjoy flailing with outrage, trufax. Actually, if ever I were to approve the idea of a mass book-burning, it would be for the collected works of Stephenie Meyer. Now, the Sookie Bookies - they were really just giggly fanfic foolishness, you know? They didn't like, violate my very being with their evil ways, and cause me existential darkness and rage and angst.

THE ALIENS WILL SPARE YOU IF YOU MAKE ME THEM SOME PIE.

BANNED 4LIFE

WHERE IS MY PIE YOU VILE CUR

THE ALIENS ARE TARGETING YOUR HOME RIGHT NOW

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