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I just closed a tab that was a page on Henry Jenkins' website. My friends suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I attempted to wade through that ponderous prose and just gave up and asked for a summary. Yet I kept the tab open...thinking I would read it? Idk.

Seriously, do I need to read the books? I am inclined to read them so I can negotiate the show from the proper perspective, but I hesitate as I was burnt on THAT OTHER VAMPIRE CRAPFEST TEEN SERIES. How bad are they, with Twilight as the gold standard?

Are there coms and junk yet? I just dumped all the ontds off my fl so I have room for new garbage coms I can scroll over.

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Warning: in the books, Elena has eyes of LAPIS LAZULI. No, really. That may have some bearing on your decision...they aren't as bad as Twilight, that's for sure. But...

That's kind of funny. Tell me more.

Oh, they're bad. I'm given to understand that some people have a juvenile fondness for them the way I loved The Silver Horse, but I didn't read The Vampire Diaries as a kid so...

However, with Twilight as the gold standard? At least I got more than a page into these. In fact I was able to read all four, although some of it was tough going. They're silly, some of the characterization is really silly, and if you don't like Elena in the show... well, I like her on the show and could barely stand her in the books. Caroline isn't as interesting, Jeremy doesn't exist, Bonnie is, like, Irish or something. In flashbacks Katharine is... kind of stupid. But also way crazy.

If you want to try before you buy, I have all four (the first four? I'm confused on that point) as .pdf files.

I assume by "gold standard" you are referring to THIS (http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/consumerist/2009/05/luckygoldenpoo1.jpg).

Why yes, that would be amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing. Please?

I don't so much actively dislike Elena as find her boring.

Kind of stupid hahahahahaa Like in a humor way? I can only hope.

The gold standard of suck, my dear. So yes.

The books are better than the Twilight series, but still quite BAD.

Saying that, I still enjoyed them when I was 12. I also enjoyed RL Stine when I was 12, so yeah, I don't know.

Oh god, I mean, she is GORGEOUS (of course) and her nickname is the Ice Queen...or something like that. Oh, and she looks like an angel. *eyeroll*

Anyhow she pursues Stefan aggressively in the books. And he does this push and pull thing. And there is a lot of, well angst.

Bonnie is spunky and fun. Matt is also around a lot - he, Damon and Bonnie have an interesting and occasionally charged relationship. (Even when I was little I thought...WHICH ONE DOES DAMON WANT TO BITE FIRST?) *g*

Anyhow, yes, they are not great literature, BY ANY MEANS, but they are more readable than Twilight -which I nearly threw over an embankment into the bay...

Yeah. And I have heard that the fifth book, the one that was recently released is horrid (by what standard) but yeah. So I'd stick to the first four if you are looking for relevance.

That's curious. Usually I'd expect the heroine to be blonded-up for TV/movies, not darkened. Why do you think they did that?

Kind of stupid in an annoying way and then wacked out crazy. It's... humorous. Mostly the insane plot devices are the humourous parts. I'd suggest you read it like it's crack!fic.

It's also almost gayer than the show. If you can imagine that.

1. http://www.sendspace.com/file/mm6fee
2. http://www.sendspace.com/file/31gxd2
3. http://www.sendspace.com/file/0i8jq1
4. http://www.sendspace.com/file/38gy4u

But I have to know what haaaaapens!!!!!

...

I hear the experience is painful.

*shrugs* Who knows? Perhaps because they liked the actress they decided to change the hair color of the character?

Totally dling this. EXCITING!

Thank you.

But not gayer than those threesome promo pics, right?

I am going to give it a go. We'll have to see.

No. Not gayer than those pictures.

Welcome! Enjoy... or something.

I love it when authors don't even realize what they're doing (the Damon thing).

Nice use of a TB icon.

I vote for Bella-fying. The CW knows their audience.

IDK, I think the Twilight books were actually better than the Southern Vampire Mysteries in a way*. I mean, no matter how rubbishy it gets, you can't stop yourself from reading more and more, because you can't actually believe this shit got published. I subscribe to the fandom_wank theory of Godzilla vs. Picard (http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1186311.html?thread=191740679&format=light#t191740679) when it comes to Twilight, really. Seeing the actual movies were just an extension of the epic trainwreck.

On the other hand, I never would have been interested in reading the Southern Vampire books without first having seen True Blood.

*Not better in the "has any measurable literary merit and/or value" kind of way, but better in the "OH GOD I CANNOT STOP READING THIS SHIT SEND HALP" kind of way. Also the lulz-worthy content is exponentially higher in Twilight.

*g* Yes.

Really? Idk, I think the lulzworthy aspects of the Sookie were much much higher. Who was it that said the books are an advertisement for home owners insurance? I mean, COME ON. Those books are clearly ff.net fic Sookie wrote herself and she couldn't even manage to make herself interesting! She reminds me of Anita Blake w/ the rhapsodizing about her fug clothes and how hot she looks in mom jeans. Bella...just makes me want to drown her.

The books are pretty bad, but if you ignore Elena (she really is a lot better on the show) and pretend that they're intentionally bad they become a lot more entertaining. (The only other book series of hers that I've read is the Secret Circle and it's a lot better, but the love story is slightly more ridiculous. LJ Smith is hit and miss most of the time. Something must be sacrificed.)

I read the books at the age of 13/14ish and liked them. I considered rereading them when the show started, but knew that if I did attempt a reread today I'd be extremely disappointed. If memory serves, I'd say that they are better than Twilight, though almost anything is better than Twilight.

If you decide to read them, I wouldn't set your standard very high for them. They are your typical sci-fi young adult novel in which the author tries to play out her own fantasy of the ordinary teenage girl suddenly being the center of a mysterious, dangerous world where multiple hot guys are falling all over themselves to be with her.

Yeah, but the Southern vampire books read like normal, overwrought, starry-eyed YA romance novels. Twilight is like a bad, bad acid trip inside the stroke-crippled mind of a timidly horny Barbara Cartland.

IDK, I think maybe I enjoy the sociological mindfuckery aspect of Twilight the most. I mean, here are the 4 most ridiculous, stupid, worthless, UTTERLY SHIT books to grace the earth, and they are best fucking sellers. Little girls and grown women alike are losing their fool minds over this sorry shit, screaming like cretins and sobbing and messing their pants over the alleged love story of an obnoxious bratty gimp and her creepy controlling stalker. WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT HUMANITY? (Obvsly it says that humanity should be exterminated by extraterrestrials.)

As for Bella vs Sookie, bitch plz. Bella Swan should be pushed into a woodchipper. Everyone knows this. Sookie, however, is an entertaining idiot who should be rewarded with nommy treats and extra walkies and perhaps a new squeaky toy.

I found Twilight much more readable than The Vampire Diaries. ;)

I really really hate Sookie MOAR OKAY?

It's mostly because of the whole aspect where I think that Whatever Her Name Is thinks that Sookie's a decent human being and that scares and torments me. She's a heinous hosebeast and people just like her ruin everything nice in the world.

Bella is so unrealistic/one dimensional she doesn't bother me as much. BUT CARRY ON AS YOU MAY!

I hope when the aliens come to kill us all I'm asleep.

~~YOU ARE WRONG AND YOUR OPINION IS WRONG AND YOU ARE A BAD PERSON AND SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR BEING WRONG ON THE INTERNETS. BADLY. AND WE MUST NOW ENGAGE IN INTERNETS FISTICUFFS.~~

I MEAN. WHAT.

Yeah, true, Sookie is presented as someone who is Always Doing The Right Thing, which is pretty stupid and gross. And there's a lot more of the "justifying bad decisions" going on with her as well.

Look, dammit, my entire point here (OK YES BADLY MADE I ADMIT) is just that I liked reading Twilight better because there was so much more "OMG WTF IDEFK HALP" going on inside my head at the time. Obvsly this is because I enjoy flailing with outrage, trufax. Actually, if ever I were to approve the idea of a mass book-burning, it would be for the collected works of Stephenie Meyer. Now, the Sookie Bookies - they were really just giggly fanfic foolishness, you know? They didn't like, violate my very being with their evil ways, and cause me existential darkness and rage and angst.

THE ALIENS WILL SPARE YOU IF YOU MAKE ME THEM SOME PIE.

BANNED 4LIFE

WHERE IS MY PIE YOU VILE CUR

THE ALIENS ARE TARGETING YOUR HOME RIGHT NOW

I actually think they are WORSE than Twilight. But like the show, the brotherslash kinda jumps off the page in a very intense way. There is one scene I cannot believe made it into a published YA novel O.o

As for comms, are you reading? If not, probably the best source of news, clips etc is

tvd_fans. If you're into the slash I co-mod a Damon/Stefan comm

salvatoreslash which has fic, discussion etc. of a broyay variety, and there is also

tvd_fic.

And I'm sure you're aware of Amber's friending meme?

I'd never even heard of these books before the show was being developed. This sort of literature was off my radar when I was the target market for it.

That being said, so far Stefan is hilariously obtuse in the bit of the first book I've managed so far.

I looooooooove your description of 9/10ths of romance novels and chicklit. BRIL!

I suspect I see a troll...

I joined the com.

(What happens in this not to believed scene?)

I even filled out the damned friending meme.

Definitly not. Vampire Diaries is so horrible I had to stop at the middle of the first book. The writer is terrible. Twilight is gold if compared to Vampire Diaries...(and we all know Twilight is no master piece).
Well, at least that's how I see things...I know some people who trully adore the books, but I confess I can't understand how they manage to do it.
But I do want to try to read the books again though. If only to compare with the tv programme.

Where?!?!

Couldn't agree more. I hated it so much I stopped even before the end of the first one.
And Elena in the book is definitely a lot worst than she is on the tv, and I not even like her on tv! So you can imagine how is my distasteful with her on the book.

I don't adore the books, definitely not, but I found Twilight the more abhorrent work.

The shows are so utterly different than the books that I don't think you really need to read them. In five eps, except for the names I already wouldn't recognize a damn thing. I love the books like you love a little brother with a head injury, so I'm probably the wrong one to ask. I keep wanting to go in there and cut people who crit them. :D

Also, books WAY slashier than TV if you put any thought into the mythos. And her other books are better--it's actually my least favorite series.

I will message you in case anyone on here is spoilerphobic

Ugh, seconding the part about the other books being better. Forbidden Game and Night World were, like, the obsessive literature of my early teenage years. They were totally my first foray into fandom - I RPG'd in the Night World universe over email listing when I was, like, 12. Not even kidding. But I hated the Vampire Diaries books at age 12, and was shocked as hell they made them into a TV series. I'm loving it, though. Sweet, sweet vampirelicious crack.

I agree. There are many ways in which TVD visually resembles Twilight, and I think making Elena a brunette is just the first of them.

I read the books to prepare for the show. They were a billion times more readable than Twilight, but not great. The first two, in particular, were pretty boring. I'm pretty sure this is because they focus so much on the love triangle aspect (which isn't really a love triangle, it's actually bigger, but that's how it's always labeled). The third and fourth books were actually pretty interesting because they had more plot and monsters and weren't just teen vampire romances. I've not read the newest one, because I found the ending of the fourth patently ridiculous, but I probably will eventually.

Short version: Books one and two boring romance, books three and four mostly fun adventure stories.

I'm rereading Forbidden Game right now, *lol*. It cracks me up to see people flipping out SO BAD about how OMG TERRIBLE they are, though. As a YA and chick lit guilty pleasure reader from way back, I want to ask "Are you new?" As writing quality goes, LJ Smith is about the middle of that pack--and the things are twenty years old.

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