(no subject) [Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.]

Dan and Chuck, oh my! Chuck can even make Dan scenes less tedious.

"I don't think of you."

"Are you gay?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAH Ommfg!

Who takes a pill from Chuck? I mean, never a good call.

"The twins find me."

Dan's mentor gives shitty advice. Who tells a 17 yr old kid he'll always be second rate? Is this a man thing?

What's the deal w/ Blair sabotaging her MOTHER to get back at her frenemies? I mean I can understand getting your revenge on, but who the fuck screws over their mom for petty revenge? I guess the answer is a Blair scorned, but DAMN.

Are you fucking shitting me w/ the Chuck's mom died in childbirth plot? WHAT?

Bart sucks so hard. I wish he would fall under a bus.

Elinor's an idiot. Also a total asshole. I think her parenting takes the cake so far "try not to get under foot." Excuse me, bitch, what? Generally, I think Bart's the biggest dick, but that's to be expected since his entire role on the show is to BE A DICK, but Elinor is sometimes presented in a positive light and as though she gives two shits about Blair. I suppose, though, that if Elinor were a decent parent Blair would probably be more secure and rational. Blarg!

So basically, this entire episode was crafted to point out how perfect Blair and Chuck are for each other. As if we didn't know!

For a second it even seemed like they were going to go to a v gay place w/ Chuck and Dan. There is no way I will believe that Chuck hasn't been so loaded out of his mind that he hasn't had a guy suck his dick. NO WAY. Dan seems dumb enough to go there, too (dumb because that's bribery material for the REST OF TIME).

What do we think Lily did? Had a kid w/ Rufus and covered it up?

I didn't get the "next week" ons. What was the teaser?

June

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I'd be thinking on the crappiness of the mentor's advice if the examples given of what Dan wrote weren't so overwhelmingly terrible. Like, Jesus on a pogo stick, Humphrey, stop being so fucking literal with the phrase, "Write what you know." Occasionally you CAN make something up, you astounding hack. URGH.

Blair dicking over her own mom just to get back at her friends was awful. I mean, it's not out of character, but for Christ's sake, Blair. *sigh*

I think the Lily/Rufus spawn definitely fits the scene. But since I'm having a hard time picturing Lily giving up her child, I'm betting Eric's "Ignore my roots" crack from last season is going to come back to haunt him.

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It cracks me up that theoretically Dan's the "hero" of this story and everyone hates him SO MUCH. God, could he be lamer? Apparently he's the only thing keeping Serena from being a mega bitch, though.

I don't think it can be Eric since he's younger. Maybe that's not what you meant, though.

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Dan's just so goddamn sanctimonious, you know? For all that he's the poor kid at the rich school he walks around with his nose in the air like at least he's got the moral superiority which ... seriously, shut UP, Dan.

Frankly I think I'd rather Serena be a mega bitch than stick with someone who thinks it's somehow her fault she's rich. And at least when she's being a bitch it seems as if she's got some energy to her. She's such a limp dishrag when she's dating Dan and playing second fiddle socially to Blair. And when she's taken what Blair's usually got, Blair breaks down awesomely. The dynamic they've got going on right now is amazing. I think I may agree with Chuck. :)

For a second it even seemed like they were going to go to a v gay place w/ Chuck and Dan. There is no way I will believe that Chuck hasn't been so loaded out of his mind that he hasn't had a guy suck his dick. NO WAY. Dan seems dumb enough to go there, too (dumb because that's bribery material for the REST OF TIME).

Yeah I totally thought they were gonna smooch. I hated the Dan/Serena and how they turned Chuck into a wuss. But now he's all silent and evil with a side of brooding. -Works for me.

I WANTED GAY CHUCK SINCE THE PILOT. (possibly with a hint of Jensen and/or Jared, cause it's a fetish -WHY HAS NO ONE WRITTEN THIS?? wait, maybe they have and I'm just too blind. Fuck.

But yeah, now I have images of Chuck getting that dirty smirk on his face and following the cute twink into the bathroom at one of Blair's grand parties.

Yeah. Where's all the Chuck slash?????

If I wasn't already pornin' the crap out of J2, I would so write slashy Chuck porn.

Big question though... who would he be paired with???

ELINOR IS SERIOUSLY HORRIBLE. Like, clearly 50% of Blair's damage is from a mom who visibly loves her daughter's best friend more than her daughter.

Chuck's mom died in childbirth, and his father is always out wandering the moors calling for her and looking for another suitable heir.

>So basically, this entire episode was crafted to point out how perfect Blair and Chuck are for each other.

I CONCUR.

It took them forever to get to how bad Blair's home life if. I mean having a gay dad doesn't impress me, mom being a psycho? Totally does!

Wandering the moors hahahahahaha

Yes, no, where's the fic?

Actually, in the books, there's a whole subplot about Dan questioning his sexuality. And in the books, Chuck is definitely bi, and Blair's brother isn't gay (whatever that kid's name is).

I think... it goes something like Dan meets a guy at a coffee shop reading and they hang for a while and they go to a poetry reading and there's absinthe (or just a lot of drinking?), and the guy kisses Dan. And Dan is all O.o but he doesn't hate it, so he gets into this sort of crisis where he thinks he's gay. But I think it ultimately gets concluded that Dan's straight, and that guy who kissed him goes off with Chuck for a while.

Yep.

OH. And there's this point where Dan (being Dan) actually takes a peek at a gay sex book.

And before you ask, yes, I read it. But I have to say in my defense, I only read that particular book to see how they handled the gay subplot. ;)

There's no shame on this lj. Besides, millions of people read TWILIGHT, I think we're safe.

millions of people read TWILIGHT

Yeah, someone needs to explain that one to me.

*coughs* I've read it...and have 1000 words of unfinished Sam/Edward porn sitting on my harddrive. But I've sort of seen the light. I want Dean Winchester/Dexter Morgan now.

I read the first four books. I will read the rest when I have time. They're so gloriously trashy. When is Chuck introed as bi? I didn't get to that, but Chuck in the books is sort of irredeemable unlike tv Chuck.

I LOVE Chuck bogarting Dan's boy. HAHAHAH YES!

Dan's identity crisis happens in "Don't You Forget About Me", and I think that his experiment guy ends up with Chuck (like 70% sure) in the next book. (Which might be the last book in the series??? It's been a while.)

In two weeks... YALE VISIT SHENANIGANS. Blair bitchfaces, Serena preens, boys are hazed. Looks like fun.