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syncope at 05:50pm on 23/01/2012
syncope at 05:50pm on 23/01/2012So.
On Thursday my tire blew out, right?
On Friday I went in even though I didn't have to because the aide and the nurse on my side were both floats, and I thought I'd be nice and help orient the nurse on my side since she'd never worked my floor before EVER (this is not great as it's a dementia unit and she'd never even worked ANOTHER dementia unit). So I thought "Well, I'll just stay through dinner and the first med pass then get home before the weather turns."
You know what Friday was, right?
The next thing, I look up at it's ten fucking o'clock and I'm like "oh, bitches, I am so outta here!" By then there was about an inch of ice on my car and I slid underneath the car when I tried to pry open the door that was encased in ice. A small war with my key in the crack of the ice and many slips later, I managed to get inside the vehicle. This is when the madness started.
The brilliant government in most of my area decided to "save money" (quotes explained later) by not pretreating the roads in case the whole science of weather radar was a hoax. The entire drive (normally seven minutes flat) from my house to my facility was one huge sheet of ice filled with asshole lower Midwestern drivers acting like assholes. I got to one intersection in my little hamlet and called 911 because there were approx. 20 (this is not an exaggeration!) cars off the road or spinning out in the intersection. The 911 dispatcher said "yeah we know." YEAH, WE KNOW? Ok, reassuring.
The road to my house is a up an incline from the main intersection in the village. Guess what? I slide backwards down it and had to pull my safety break and put the car into park because all the other dickhead drivers around me were scaring the fuck out of me.
Well known fact: driving on ice is right below being karate chopped into unconsciousness on my List of Favorite Things.
If it had just been ME on the road, I would have been much calmer, because I drive a car intended for inclement weather and I used to live in a snowbelt.
I finally make it home, idk, I think it took me 45 minutes to get there. I am all WHEEEEEEEEEEEW THANK FUCK, AWESOME, I CAN CHILL AND WATCH TEEVEES AND NEVER GO OUTSIDE AGAIN. I start stripping out of my uniform, put my hand in my pocket...and I had the med cart keys in my pocket.
OH YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
I got home finally in the end at about 2.
Do not even ask me my opinion about the local police. (I fucking hate them for refusing to help me. Incidentally: it's normal for fire depts and police to help medical people when shit like this happens.)
Oh, there are sixty accidents with injuries within a ten mile radius? What about MY NEEDS? (This is the part where the "saving money" angle fell apart. In the end they had to call in police from three counties away [on our dime] and pay however many thousands of dollars of overtime. Oh yeah, and a bunch of people died, buried the lead there.)
I drove back to the facility and back going legit 5 miles an hour. I am a viking. By the time I went back out there was a half foot of snow over the ice.
I left out so fucking much here.
So, just fyi, I am still exactly the same person as when I disappeared.
On Thursday my tire blew out, right?
On Friday I went in even though I didn't have to because the aide and the nurse on my side were both floats, and I thought I'd be nice and help orient the nurse on my side since she'd never worked my floor before EVER (this is not great as it's a dementia unit and she'd never even worked ANOTHER dementia unit). So I thought "Well, I'll just stay through dinner and the first med pass then get home before the weather turns."
You know what Friday was, right?
The next thing, I look up at it's ten fucking o'clock and I'm like "oh, bitches, I am so outta here!" By then there was about an inch of ice on my car and I slid underneath the car when I tried to pry open the door that was encased in ice. A small war with my key in the crack of the ice and many slips later, I managed to get inside the vehicle. This is when the madness started.
The brilliant government in most of my area decided to "save money" (quotes explained later) by not pretreating the roads in case the whole science of weather radar was a hoax. The entire drive (normally seven minutes flat) from my house to my facility was one huge sheet of ice filled with asshole lower Midwestern drivers acting like assholes. I got to one intersection in my little hamlet and called 911 because there were approx. 20 (this is not an exaggeration!) cars off the road or spinning out in the intersection. The 911 dispatcher said "yeah we know." YEAH, WE KNOW? Ok, reassuring.
The road to my house is a up an incline from the main intersection in the village. Guess what? I slide backwards down it and had to pull my safety break and put the car into park because all the other dickhead drivers around me were scaring the fuck out of me.
Well known fact: driving on ice is right below being karate chopped into unconsciousness on my List of Favorite Things.
If it had just been ME on the road, I would have been much calmer, because I drive a car intended for inclement weather and I used to live in a snowbelt.
I finally make it home, idk, I think it took me 45 minutes to get there. I am all WHEEEEEEEEEEEW THANK FUCK, AWESOME, I CAN CHILL AND WATCH TEEVEES AND NEVER GO OUTSIDE AGAIN. I start stripping out of my uniform, put my hand in my pocket...and I had the med cart keys in my pocket.
OH YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
I got home finally in the end at about 2.
Do not even ask me my opinion about the local police. (I fucking hate them for refusing to help me. Incidentally: it's normal for fire depts and police to help medical people when shit like this happens.)
Oh, there are sixty accidents with injuries within a ten mile radius? What about MY NEEDS? (This is the part where the "saving money" angle fell apart. In the end they had to call in police from three counties away [on our dime] and pay however many thousands of dollars of overtime. Oh yeah, and a bunch of people died, buried the lead there.)
I drove back to the facility and back going legit 5 miles an hour. I am a viking. By the time I went back out there was a half foot of snow over the ice.
I left out so fucking much here.
So, just fyi, I am still exactly the same person as when I disappeared.
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