Thank god it's turtleneck season is all I'm sayin'.
I know y'all have been missing my True Life Stories all these many months when I've been attempting to learn shame and not share these things.
GREAT NEWS: YOU CAN'T LEARN SHAME WHEN YOU'RE OLD!
Now a True Life Story:
This morning (to me) I decided to reheat some pizza for breakfast (J, please divert your gaze henceforth, or remember the week you ordered pizza three times). I heated the oven. When I went to put the pizza in the oven I tripped over the dog bowl and fell on the oven door with my neck and burned the front of my throat.
What more do I need to say?
How about mentioning that while I was reeling with shock at this turn of events my dog ran off with my pizza and now has diarrhea from eating it?
GREAT NEWS: YOU CAN'T LEARN SHAME WHEN YOU'RE OLD!
Now a True Life Story:
This morning (to me) I decided to reheat some pizza for breakfast (J, please divert your gaze henceforth, or remember the week you ordered pizza three times). I heated the oven. When I went to put the pizza in the oven I tripped over the dog bowl and fell on the oven door with my neck and burned the front of my throat.
What more do I need to say?
How about mentioning that while I was reeling with shock at this turn of events my dog ran off with my pizza and now has diarrhea from eating it?