Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

Hey, if you're friending me for my fanfic, think about that twice!

Pretty soon I doubt I'll be producing all much fic. How much and how long that will continue is unknown, BUT if you're just here for that maybe don't bother so much with the friending.

And for everyone else: I promise to produce a whole new level of lulz starting today!

I'm going to nursing school to go into full time aid work. I've toyed with this for years, but I always chose to party a little more first. I am the St Augustine of LULZ. But, yeah, I've decided I've had enough of that and I'm going to just lay down and admit that I want my life to be more than just selfish dedication to concert-going and writing bullshit media content to be consumed by people who are never satisfied by the gilded babies they eat anyway.

The truth of the matter is that when I was younger I was really disappointed that I was an atheist because a vocation would have suited me. However, god did not come knocking so I became a philosopher. You can see where that got me! That's right, writing porn.

The above is number one on the agenda.

But the whole shebang of life is way more elaborate than this. Let's start here:

Did you know that all that stimulus money that's supposed to be going to finance second career options isn't so much available to people who really need it? Know how I know that? --

So a friend of our family has a very shit life. So shit in fact that you wouldn't even believe the damned story because it sounds like something from a crap Southern gothic novel about hillbillies run amok. Let's just say she comes from an "abusive" background and leave it at that. This, of course, set her up to have no self-esteem or sense of self-worth which then leads to a sense of hopelessness. You know, typical shit. Anyway, so recently she's been trying to make life changes. One, she ditched the dirtbag husband. Good start--if you have one, you should start there, too. But her family are so deeply, fundamentally, and completely FUCKED UP she has no resources to pull herself out of the cycle of poverty. Also, she has two kids.

You'd think that this would be the kind of person that stimulus money would be for. YOU WOULD BE FUCKING WRONG. Some days I would prefer to negotiate government agencies with my fists.

But anyway, I'm not in jail so you can see that I didn't go on a killing rampage in the New Works Progress Administration offices. I am, however, filling out a lot of forms to try to get this woman some money so she can go to school. Charity starts at home and junk and educating myself about how impossible helping yourself seems to people in desperate situations will make me a more compassionate person.

At any rate, instead of writing fanfiction I'm doing other things, I hope you won't be too disgruntled. Only friend me if you want to hear my self-righteous bullshit about hoop jumping and my crazyass stories of going to nursing school (which, I promise you, will be golden).

PS: Don't worry, I'll still be talking about shitty tv all the time. I didn't get a personality transplant.