Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

My granddaddy has swine flu so he's not eating, of course. Today I made two kinds of soup (potato and corn chowder with corn he grew himself) and indicated to him that if he didn't eat it he'd have to deal with serious nagging (update: he ate). In the process of gathering the ingredients for the soup and commencing to cooking I managed to give myself a goddamned heat stroke! I have become a pussy. Between the black interior of my car and clogging up my pores with a megaasston of lotion I just frazzled myself. When you see black spots on the edge of your vision that's nature's warning sign that you should sit down a moment.

I think the last time I had a heat stroke was in Tennessee. Galling, truly, to a native Floridian.

Anyway, the heat stroke did not prevent me from cooking the soup, because I am made of heartier stock than that shit.

I'm sure you're excited to learn that this year I am tackling learning all the family preserve recipes and relearning to can. This is mostly a keep busy project for my grandfather since he (like all old folks) likes to be useful. So I asked him to help me and so now we have a project. A jar of home grown stewed tomatoes in December is one of the simple pleasures of life. I pity you city mice. EXPECT CANNED GOODS FOR YOUR HOLIDAYS as I expect this should turn...epic. (I don't do things in half measures, for those new folks.)

( True Blood )

Where is all the fic? Damn. I think there are 11 people in the fandom is the problem. *weeps blood like Bill*

Spoilers for the books in the comments.

UPDATE: Stoney is actually writing the damned Twilight/TB xover fic of crack par excellence click click click