Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

Something that annoys me irrationally: the term pre-slash. Look, yo, slash does not mean hardcore fucking. There's another term for that: hardcore fucking. A long, long time ago I only remember this "pre-slash" shit being applied to multi-chaptered fics where the author has to tease everyone and stretch out the angst (looking at elizah_jane here who didn't even want to write the pay off EVER, but that's another story) before letting the protagonists get it on. That's a lifestyle choice, one I do not endorse, but you know, evs.

A story where there is romantic interest between same sex (gender, whatever you would like to apply here)

[I just paused in this rant to discuss Chris Pine's peepee. The nadir, I am sensing it.]

is slash whether or not there is kissing/making out/buttsex/contact. You do not have to fuck someone to be into them. WHOA, crazy times.

Slash = a genre NOT a stand in for "they fuck in this one."

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Someone is harassing me to write Chris Pine/Zach Quinto fic, because I spend maybe a little bit of time discussing how cracked out it is that we have a canonical gay here and people pair him with girls. WHAT? You really can't see that ZQ is gay? Is this brought to us by the letters R, U, and DUMB or the same people who speculated about Glambert? Because seriously, Nostradamus wrote verses about ZQ's gay ass. (Sorry, I really don't get this. You know how sometimes I act all morally superior and too cool for all this shit? This would not be one of those times. I AM TOO CRAZY TO EXIST, I AM THE PERSON I HATE. *weeps*)

The hang up on this fic is that I started thinking "what would the quote plot unquote be here, exactly?" and my answer was, shit, all Chris does is get coffee and wander around SL in boiled wool clogs, maybe he hits up 7/11 for rolling papers and a bottle of water and all Zach does is walk his dumb dog and I guess probs go dancing with Kristen. That is NOT A STORY. Even for me, sadly. SIGH. I have to introduce some dramatic tension there, idk, parking lot back up at Trader Joe's? Chris can't get the top of his car closed with one hand and spills his coffee?

*


I think I should be writing something for idk_ofc, anyway. <---if you missed it, this is a com/challenge/permission to write original female characters. It's multifandom because my friend who sort of tricked me into it is in a fandom that's SO 2006, but she doesn't know it. (Don't hate on me, SPN fans, the mockery is coming from inside the house, mkay?) But could you please write OFC/Misha Collins fic so I don't end up having to (I see this coming already, and I am a tad occupied with Chris Pine at the mo). Maybe I'll make my story for this something extremely cracked out, like about a fangirl who pretends to date Misha Collins on the internet and Misha thinks it's so funny he adds her back on Twitter causing her to be validated--but then it turns out she's really a tentacle alien from Neptune. ? Too much? You will read it and save it delicious, bitch!