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syncope at 06:19pm on 22/04/2009
syncope at 06:19pm on 22/04/2009My computer totally died at the end of last week. I knew it was coming since it had been threatening me pretty extensively for months. My relationship with this machine was never great, it always harbored resentment towards me since it knew I regretted staying with it when I should have bought a Mac. Our days together were numbered from the start.
What this means in practical terms for YOU is that I haven't been writing Misha fic because I decided that my computer flouncing into the hereafter meant I should plow through the back reading I have. This lead to something ASTONISHINGLY unexpected and utterly brilliant! It turns out this gem was lurking on my bookshelf waiting for the day I would be bored enough to crack it open. (Sadly, it is OUT OF PRINT so you might have to get a secondhand copy or beg me for mine.)
[My grandfather just called me to tell me why sharing a driveway (as in an easement) is a HORRIBLE, BAD, NO GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!! Because what if your neighbor is an ASSHOLE and refuses to share repair costs? YOU'D HAVE TO GO TO COURT and spend more money. HE WOULD NEVER SHARE A DRIVEWAY!!!!]
So back to the work of staggering genius that is The Knights Templar Revealed (the title is a warning, heed it if you're looking for anything reasonable or factual)--
A little background: I'm a sucker for this sort of material. Is it about the Crusades? Ok, I bite! Does it feature speculation about the Templars? NOM NOM. This is a serious weakness of mine and has lead my personal library to be something of a Greatest Hits of Shoddy Scholarship.
Further: many years ago I read this book called The Hiram Key claiming that the Knights Templar founded the Masonic Orders. This book became my gold standard for crackpottery. I tortured Nate by reading whole chapters out loud with commentary. I shrieked! I howled! I recommended it regularly to people as an example of how not to be a scholar. (Here I am not taking any sides on the theory that the KT founded the Masons, I know a lot of people believe this, and I have no actual opinion on that topic.) I think that Dan Brown read this same book and ripped it off. He had to have read this shit, had to.
So I'm reading the intro to The Knights Templar Revealed and I'm like "wait, wait, this seems familiar..." I flipped to the dust jacket and KAPOW! this staggering work of genius was written by the same crackpots as The Hiram Key! Brilliant!
Right now I'm reading the chapter where they claim that ancient Minoans were the biblical Philistines and not only that but that the Philistines intermarried with the biblical Hebrews (making Jews Minoans, I am COOLER THAN EVER! MINOAN! CHECK ME OUT!) bringing with them their female deity who was secretly worshiped in the Temple by those sneaky priests and shiz. I think I see where they're going with this!
What's sort of amazing is that they so far haven't posited that Minoans were Atlantians even though they went to great lengths to discuss how TOTES AWES the Minoans were and even discussed the reason for the Minoan diaspora being the volcanic explosion at Thera. WEIRD! You missed the obvious connection with Knight Templars getting sekkrit Atlantian knowledge, weak! CLEARLY Atlantians built Solomon's Temple, you nimrods! How did you miss that???
Maybe I'm just not to the part where the Minoans are revealed to be Atlantians (this is a real theory, btw, and one that's as plausible as the whole Great Flood Myth being created due to the creation of the Bosporus--which is to say it sounds pretty good but there's no way to prove it right now).
I just realized that this book is like Knights Templar fanfiction. It's exactly the same thing, they're taking characters either created by others or real and making up stories about them! Wow. Clearly, I need to switch to Knight Templar fandom immediately!
I wish I had an icon of a cumshot on someone's face, because that's totally the mood I'm in right now. (As in utterly absurd.)
This book: get it.
What this means in practical terms for YOU is that I haven't been writing Misha fic because I decided that my computer flouncing into the hereafter meant I should plow through the back reading I have. This lead to something ASTONISHINGLY unexpected and utterly brilliant! It turns out this gem was lurking on my bookshelf waiting for the day I would be bored enough to crack it open. (Sadly, it is OUT OF PRINT so you might have to get a secondhand copy or beg me for mine.)
[My grandfather just called me to tell me why sharing a driveway (as in an easement) is a HORRIBLE, BAD, NO GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!! Because what if your neighbor is an ASSHOLE and refuses to share repair costs? YOU'D HAVE TO GO TO COURT and spend more money. HE WOULD NEVER SHARE A DRIVEWAY!!!!]
So back to the work of staggering genius that is The Knights Templar Revealed (the title is a warning, heed it if you're looking for anything reasonable or factual)--
A little background: I'm a sucker for this sort of material. Is it about the Crusades? Ok, I bite! Does it feature speculation about the Templars? NOM NOM. This is a serious weakness of mine and has lead my personal library to be something of a Greatest Hits of Shoddy Scholarship.
Further: many years ago I read this book called The Hiram Key claiming that the Knights Templar founded the Masonic Orders. This book became my gold standard for crackpottery. I tortured Nate by reading whole chapters out loud with commentary. I shrieked! I howled! I recommended it regularly to people as an example of how not to be a scholar. (Here I am not taking any sides on the theory that the KT founded the Masons, I know a lot of people believe this, and I have no actual opinion on that topic.) I think that Dan Brown read this same book and ripped it off. He had to have read this shit, had to.
So I'm reading the intro to The Knights Templar Revealed and I'm like "wait, wait, this seems familiar..." I flipped to the dust jacket and KAPOW! this staggering work of genius was written by the same crackpots as The Hiram Key! Brilliant!
Right now I'm reading the chapter where they claim that ancient Minoans were the biblical Philistines and not only that but that the Philistines intermarried with the biblical Hebrews (making Jews Minoans, I am COOLER THAN EVER! MINOAN! CHECK ME OUT!) bringing with them their female deity who was secretly worshiped in the Temple by those sneaky priests and shiz. I think I see where they're going with this!
What's sort of amazing is that they so far haven't posited that Minoans were Atlantians even though they went to great lengths to discuss how TOTES AWES the Minoans were and even discussed the reason for the Minoan diaspora being the volcanic explosion at Thera. WEIRD! You missed the obvious connection with Knight Templars getting sekkrit Atlantian knowledge, weak! CLEARLY Atlantians built Solomon's Temple, you nimrods! How did you miss that???
Maybe I'm just not to the part where the Minoans are revealed to be Atlantians (this is a real theory, btw, and one that's as plausible as the whole Great Flood Myth being created due to the creation of the Bosporus--which is to say it sounds pretty good but there's no way to prove it right now).
I just realized that this book is like Knights Templar fanfiction. It's exactly the same thing, they're taking characters either created by others or real and making up stories about them! Wow. Clearly, I need to switch to Knight Templar fandom immediately!
I wish I had an icon of a cumshot on someone's face, because that's totally the mood I'm in right now. (As in utterly absurd.)
This book: get it.
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