Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

people mistake this for a nihilist song when it is truly about narcicissm at its most glorius. <---if you can't recognize exactly who this is a quote from, you ain't been payin' attention around here for a whole (Pete Wentz, ladies and gentlemen.)

Narcissism at its MOST GLORIOUS. I really should just defriend icecreamhdaches since Jenn reads the highlight aloud to me anyway.

This is sad: I'm looking at mcrficfinders and I know which stories people are soliciting. What has become of me?

2)Cracktastic!fic, where Gerard is a vampire, Frank becomes a girl, Bob speaks in monosyallbels, Mikey gets raped every day and lord knows what Rays doing, and at the end, Mikey gets replaced and forgotten about?

Excuse me, come again? Why does Mikey get raped so effin' much in fic? What did he ever do to y'all??? Christ on a cracker. Frank as a girl could he hilarious, however:

"Don't steal my motherfuckin' tampons for you art, asshole! Do you know how much those cost?" Frankie lights a cigarette and pokes it in Gerard's face.

"No?" Gerard's suitably chastised. "A lot?"

"It's money I could be spending on beer, ok? If men had periods tampons would be free."

Frankie makes statements like that a lot. Gerard tends to think that if men had period they would be called women. There's a lack of logical follow-through on the 'if men...' statements.

"I'll buys some more." Gerard shrugs. Why not? Buying tampons can get checked off his list of 'shit I only do because Frankie silently eggs me into doing it' right under the jell-o shots up his nose and above spitting on the audience.

"Fuck this bra. I need a new bra. How morally opposed to Wal-Mart are we this week?" Frankie squirms around yanking on her bar.

"NO WAL-MART!" Mikey shouts from his bunk.

"Very, apparently," Gerard sighs. He wouldn't mine a clandestine Wal-Mart run either, he's lost his red colored pencil.

*

Ok, that almost became a real fic! Holy moly. I had to shut that shit down before it get a plot.

In my household, as an aside, if you make a dick, sex, or otherwise ott horrible joke, you get called Frankie now. Speaking of girl Frank, Jenn's at a taping of a game show. She better be winnin' us some money for hookers and blow as I type! (Pretty cool, huh?)

I didn't really watch the VMAs. I hate awards shows. I also have an embarrassment squick issue and I see programs like the VMAs as an extended gag on people who are unaware of how stupid they look. This includes Pete. And Ashlee. Oh, Ashlee, honey! (Because I am trying to not be insane, I'm now neutral on her, but if she is ditzy and clueless on national television, what am I to make of this?) Ok, obviously I accidentally caught Pete and Ashlee. It really was accidental, too. Lil Wayne needs to be set on fire STAT for the good of humanity. I hate the Jonas Brothers quite aside from the whole Christian abstinence crapola--they SUCK. Isn't that enough reason to dislike them? You don't gotta get all political about it. However, that being said, why not back in the knowledge there will be a Britney/Justin sex scandal in at least one of their futures and everyone who loves sex can sit back and laugh and say "that's one more for team sex!"?

Until my boss calls hysterical about something, I think I'll write some more vampires.