Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

There was once a time when I did things like read fanfic and fucked off on my fl. NO LONGER.

Right now I'm working on two huge projects (a book and a tv show) as well as my real work (which, I guess all of that is real work? weird) and finishing Vampires (which, actually, is called amusingly enough Constructive Summer).

Writing has eaten me alive lately. This is after a dead spell where I had NOTHING for months. Absolutely nothing. Now I'm doing the thing again where as I wake up with some huge plot point in one of my projects resolving itself like BLIP! and I get up, walk to my computer and start working before I've even had coffee. If you know me at all you're probably doubting the veracity of this statement, but NO FOR REALS.

This weekend I went to buy work clothes (for dumb meetings I have to go to) but ended up w/ a semi-military style dress and an argyle skull hoody instead. I think that says all you need to know about my level of professionalism. I'm a writer, Suits, forget it. <---inspired by Billy on Entourage in my head I call all my bosses Suits. I did get a skirt that I looked at on the rack and said "that's not work attire, look how short it is!" Then of course I put it on and it only came to like two inches above my knee--oh, dear, that's right, I'm short!

My newest project is a tad bit epic (it has a five season arc?? is that epic?), and it fills me with unadulterated joy. I sort of decided if you're going to go for it, go for it. I'm starting to think Constructive Summer might be it for me and fanfiction. I just don't have the time for it anymore. Aside from the tv show and the book, I have two other book projects and a whole other tv pilot. Idk, maybe I'll post parts of my real work under lock. Maybe not. I know other people do this, but I get paranoid about people stealing ideas. People are bad! Wait, not that I think about it, it's the website, suitwork, my book, the tv show, and that other book (non-fiction) and vampires. How did I get myself into THAT?

Clearly, next I'll get a comicbook idea fully borne in my mind and frantically have to find an artist.

All of this comes with really intense dreams. Maybe it's a four year cycle? During the last summer olympics was when I took the header down my staircase sleep walking. Wow, that's been four fucking years? Unbelievable. No sleepwalking yet, but I do dream pretty much all night about the craziest shit--in the way dreams work, explaining them is impossible. JJ and I used to trade dream stories every day and laugh.

In other news, Bob continues to be A++ aaaaaaaaawesome.

hahahahahahahaahhaah

Life, it is glorious. No, really.

On MCRficfinder theater today:

So I'm looking for the fic where Jamia is a Jersey Devil and Frank and Gerard are vampires? It's chaptered, and I believe still going on?

Thanks for any help.

SNAPS ON ME!!!!!!!

ITT how much I suck for not updating the masterlist of links.

What will I have for dinner? I think maybe I will actually eat dinner tonight.

Um. So.

In my attempt to not kill anyone this month, when the whole furor over the voodoo fic happened, I just stayed out of it. I actually didn't even read the comments on Danny's post because I thought it was just better that way. (If you are not in SPN, I'm talking about winterlive who wrote an AU that offended people.)

I think it's a very well known fact that sparkymonster is one of my very close friends (she is Julia).

Just now I was (still) ignoring this for the most part because, like I said, I got a lot of shit to do, man! Julia is all--

J: I came home from judging a gay men's leather fetish contest, and reading that Danny thinks I posted to get brownie points made me so upset I couldn't fall asleep.
Me: I haven't eaten today, leather fetish back burner, what's this other thing?
J: Danny claims I'm trolling her for grudge wank purposes.
Me: What are you even talking about?
J: The voodoo fic. See above.
Me: I wonder whose grudgewank you could be committing. Are you fucking serious?

A new and creative way to shut down debates on racism/discrimination/prejudice.

You know, this angers me on a lot of levels. The first is, bitch, PLEASE are you telling me that someone's comments on your behavior are invalid because said person is friends w/ people you think dislike you? Really? Yes, that works when you're talking about not getting recs on a com or delicious links maybe, but not when someone says "I feel you're flagrantly using someone else's history of oppression for porn, please desist." Those two situations are NOT EQUATABLE. One is a stupid fandom politics issue, the other is a real world issue of identity, belonging, and humanity.

Then there's the concurrent anger of "why will these people not let this shit go?" I mean, do you honestly think that I devote time and energy badmouthing people who I do not interact w/? Gimme a break! I devote that time to badmouthing BANDFLESH omgok? Get over it, people! I don't care about you or anything you do. At all. I'm not siccing people on you. If you knew me at all, and you do not, you would know that I'm stunningly forgiving and tolerant. I don't care what you do as long as you leave me alone. Honest to the devil or whatever I should swear on, I guess maybe Pete Wentz.

Now, let's look at what I see as the other aspect of why this is amaaaaaaaaazingly disgusting--so what you think happened here is that *I* sent my, what, PoC minion over to unleash a bag of whoopass on you for fannish grudge purposes? Track that thought to it's conclusions. Do you not see how you are engaging in very troubling thought patterns?

I think that the above commentary is also fed by the fact that it appears that Danny also will only "reasonably" discuss this w/ white people in her comment threads. What the hell is that about? A snotty attitude over people's tone and then her own snide sarcastic tone is offensive to anyone who would like to discuss something with her (even if they're being polite, which, you know, why the fuck be polite?). Any talk of "tone" in commentary about racism always already is a giant fail. It just is, ok? Let's all shake hands and agree this is true. Do NOT bring up someone's anger over you offending them personally and act like you have the moral highground. The moral high ground, asshat, is occupied by the person you offended and people who take measures to open their minds to the realities beyond their own noses. Keep this in mind next time someone says "what the fuck, fucker, did you just go there? are you joking?" The correct response is not "if you'd only approached me calmly, I'd consider your feelings." The correct response if "oh shit, what was I thinking? I'm sorry and I'll read your pamphlet!"

And to quote directly from her comments w/ Julia: "you're soapboxing for the people on your post, reading this, so they can tell you how awesome you are." Is that really the card you're playing in this round? I know you got a heart in your hand still. Soapboxing for the people on her post. INDEED. No, that's actually what I'm doing now. I don't want them to tell me how awesome *I* am, however, I want them to look at this "debate," see how racial debate on the internet can go epically wrong, and go tell Julia how awesome she is, like Danny thinks we're already doing.