Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

So tonight I had this work to do (that piled up while I was being a jackass who writes endless bloodsport pornography masquerading as curtain fic) and Jenn went over to our friends' place and played Rock Band while I stayed in to work and watch the MCR Loaded on Fuse. When did we become so fucking cliched? Damn. Rock Band and Loaded. Siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

I think I might start a whole column here called The Best of MCRstoryfinders with commentary. You will laugh, trust me.

I've been thinking about changing my lj name since I got a lj (the true story of getting my lj is thus: I am so very lazy/incompetent that back in the day of codes I got a code from a friend [Thamiris] and was like "wot? arg, fucking fine!" and asked my friend to make my lj for me...then she asked what name I wanted to be and I said "pick, I don't care." Famous last words. Story of my fucking life, people!). I've never done it because it would mean committing to something new and it would be a pain in the ass for everyone who linked to my fic and shit--but then someone told me the links automatically redirect...? y/n? If so, SHIT, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO changing my lj name to like xfanx! Don't hork it!

The pic of Gerard in like 8th grade is amaaaaaaaaaazing. here Oh my god. I look that much the same, too. It's sort of weird because I'm one of those people whose photos from childhood are CLEARLY me, yet me and my siblings look so much alike that if you didn't know which one of us it was you'd never be able to pick us apart.

I got the tpb of the Joss run of Runaways the other day. I'm reading it as I take a bath every day. This is the only time I have to read right now, so that's how I'm rolling. It's sad that I pick a comic, but that's just how it is currently. I was validated on The Umbrella Academy when me friend who is a normal person not on the internet liked it. So I realized maybe I'm not totally fucking nuts. At least about that comic.

Ok. You know how sometimes there are things online that are so awesome you want to punch someone? Gway in the audience on the Sally Jesse Raphael Show I think that chubby, teenaged Gway is hardly even the best part of this clip. I mean, holy moses, what? There's hilarity and then there's THIS SHIT. How did I never hear about this before? WHAT?

God, this week has been fucking nuts. Tomorrow we're going to Eddie Izzard and my boss is guaranteed to call me 11 times because we were only on the phone three hours today. At least I have the kind of job where my boss says "we have a meeting" and I can say "no, mofo, I got shit the night before, not coming! I'll get lost and it will be an episode, forget it" and he just says "...how can you be this ludicrous?" Real words, he's articulate (because he's a Jew).

OK, so Jenn called me from the car to come downstairs and listen to Bert and Quinn on "Love Line." However insane you think I am, it's worse. I seriously love Bert. He pretended to not know what fanfic was while fielding questions about Waycest and making jokes about LDS. Beeeeeeeeeert!!!!!!!!!!!

This month is my mom's 60th birthday (as I have mentioned previously in my OMG EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY OLD!!! moments). You may have noticed I'm slightly codependent with my mother (haha, slightly). Yesterday in a fit of "I'm the worst daughter ever!" I offered to come home for my mom's birthday (like you do).

The issue here is: the day after my mom's bday is the Leathermouth show. You know how flights are--there's every chance part/all of my flight will be canceled and I'll be stuck in Denver or some shit and miss Frankie. THAT'S JUST HOW AWESOME/DUMB I AM. I love my mom enough to bag on this show. Siiiiiiiiiigh. Jenn's going to slaughter me if my flight's canceled. Oh, American heartland, how you suxxorz.

Aaaaand in other news totally not other, I didn't realize that Warped was like two Sundays away. Jenn's all "and blah blah Warped plans blah blah!!!! GABE!" and I'm like "why are we even discussing this, isn't it like a month from now...oh good god, what's happened to this year? it's half over!" We're going to Warped in Carson. If you want to hang, hit me up. I expect I'll have sun stroke and I'll have a story or two. I wonder if Jenn's going to buy that hideous hoody this time. That hoody is NOT COOL, I don't care how many times Pete Wentz claims it is (don't listen to Pete Wentz about what's cool, children!).

Today there might not be any vampires. Don't rip me apart with your bare hands (besides, we know that's a lie).

*

In mcrficfinder news:

so there's this fic where the main pairing is mikey/alicia. he refused to lose his virginity before he's seen a unicorn. at one point, he saw one (shooting the i don't love you video, i think?), and called alicia. when they met up, they had a load of sex until alicia said her vag needed a rest and called pete over to their place so mikey can have someone to fuck. in the end, there might have been a threesome.

Where do we begin? Mikey never had sex until AFTER he's dating Alicia? Hmmmm. Ok, almost believable. Except that I think Mikey's the stealth sex hound of that band. Here's Gerard who gets confused when girls talk to him, Frank who's relentlessly monogamous, Bob who fucking hates everyone, and Ray who apparently has secret children. So there's Mikey kicking it and chicks are all "bwuhz? why no groupie action, MCR? I'm covered in fake blood and everything!" and Mikey's all "heeeeeeeeeeeey." But less comical.

I don't really understand the whole "I'm fucked out, let's call Pete" portion of the story. That's a bad narrative call. I think I would have gone with "I think you and Pete are hot, let's call him so I can watch you fuck" which I think is hotter. Maybe my problem is that I don't know Alicia at all? Maybe her vag gets winded and I'm unaware.

You like how I analyze this text without regard to the unicorn element, correct? I mean, the unicorn, I see that as the hook. Why can't Mikey and Alicia bone? Oh, because Mikey needs to see a unicorn! This could just as easily been--because Mikey's abstaining because sex is bad luck or it steals his mojo or he made a bet, these are all invented barriers to sex happening. But, naturally, because this is MCR fanfic, it's because Mikey's a virgin who wants to see a unicorn. I think many fandoms have accepted tropes that pop up like this. In SPN there seems to be a lot of amnesia fic. I don't think I've read a MCR amnesia fic...but that would be amaaaaaaaaaaazing. Gerard wakes up one day and he's all like "why the FUCK am I in a hotel room naked and all my clothes smell like a monkey's ass? Who am I? Why do I have a burning desire to read 'Doom Patrol'? Holy shit, why are my nails painted? Jesus Christ, is that make up on my face?" He then bathes himself with a Brillo pad, puts on the hotel towel, and chain smokes until Frank lets himself into his room. "Hi!" Frank has coffee. Gerard squints at him and realizes this might be a set up. "You hit your head pretty hard yesterday, feeling ok?" Gerard has suspicions about this guy. "Ok, I hit you in the head pretty hard yesterday, feeling ok?" "Why do I have the feeling you're up to no good when I don't even know who you are?" This, of course being a fanfic, leads to sex which leads to angst which leads to a sappy resolution where they buy a house in Bayonne and adopt children (except Gerard refuses to adopt a kid from China because people sell off their daughters and that shit's unethical). The end.


eta: My dumb mom. I just bought my plane tix and I'm like "my flight better not get canceled because this dude I stalk has a show the night I come back." 1. she says "Pete Wentz?" BWHAHAHAH oh god. So, my mom totally LOVES Pete and tells me every time she sees something about him in the news. 2. she said "Don't come if this is going to mess with your work." OMG, wtf, I'm flying cross country for your birthday and your response is to nag me? Jew of the Month Award.

I was just going to keep adding crapola to my earlier post like I usually do, but whatevs! This might end up being the most active month I've ever had on my journal (usually I just lurk on all of yours).


Bandom secrets, bringing the crazysauce. Jew stuff under here! (That will lure Julia and Kita.) How hot is he, I mean, yikes! Does it for me anyway. This is the dude I was telling you about (from FOB, not GABE). (Also, if you made that secret, it's called CONVERSION. Dictionary: get one.

Is this a fanvid? If not, I am going to assume Patrick made this teaching himself how to edit video. Pete does NOT need to be at a high school. Do not give Pete one of your graduation tickets, children! It's like a buffet for him.

Speaking of! <---wasn't even me! PEDOPEDOPEDO

NEXT! From Juliana. Boooooooooooooooob!

Jenn: *laughs at me--par for the course* So you're all Gerard and Frank blah blah, they're so hot !!! Eleventy. And now you figured out there's a fat guy in the band? Finally!

I like fat guys! This should not be a news flash to ANYONE who reads my journal. I actually had a whole lamecore episode last night over Seth Rogan on Fuse. It wasn't pretty. Here we go on my Bobcentric spiral into madness! Should be fun, wanna come along? (For instance, what's up with those DRAGON SHOES?)

Tonight we're seeing Eddie Izzard and also perhaps The Hushies. Again, I don't live in a refugee camp, don't hate me for my game (you, too, can move to LA!). I will buy merch if we end up at the Hushies show, I know I will. Siiiiiiiigh. I have a super awes Cab t-shirt I wear all the time. Wait, I already have a Hushies shirt. Snaps on myself! Wow, I am lame, lame, lame.

How about some actual intellectual content? (Don't click if you want to just day dream about having Bob's baby or whatever it is you cook up in that scary brain of yours.) Julla's essay on that dumb thing white people do where they think "if only I were black I could be fat and it'd be dope!" Er, what? Stop being dumb! (And also Julia's great.) <----this is why I opened this window, do you see what's become of me? I think I need to take some kind of philosophy seminar soon.



Idek, what the fuck is UP with that secrets com. I just lost an hour! What are these "rumors" that Gabe bangs jailbait? Holy christ, kids: he bangs the girls in his band. Look into it.

Hi, what's up? You didn't REALLY think there would be no vampires today, did you? I didn't think you did.

( Well, I know a thing about contrition, because I got enough to spare. )