Don't leave a voicemail, seriously.

This is totally real. So, I'm talking to Julia about maybe coming to Boston and she's like ORLY? LINK! And I think she's sending me something about cheap flights. Oh, this is not the case! Please click this if you're down. THIS IS NOT A PARODY. My favorite parts are THE WHOLE THING.

I typed up this whole thing about Moonlight and deleted it since it was mean.

The headline on the above link is "Former Emo Jailed Over Teen Sex." Yes, you want to click it.


I'm not relentlessly upbeat, so don't read this if you're easily offended (if you're easily offended what are you even DOING here, haven't you noticed I've reverted back to my old personality lately?). ( Supernatural finale (because you're not tired of hearing about this, right?) )

I got this article about groupies from one of the 187 bandom coms I'm on. I clicked it to read the disinformation that Pstump is spreading about himself, because he amuses me by being a winsome liar often. His commentary in the article is classic Patrick deadpan.


I can't finish reading it. I am just so APPALLED. Please, please, dear friends I know who have ever been a girl involved w/ music, read this shit so we can rally the revolutionary army of Shut the Fuck Up, Ruiners! that needs to happen. Ok, I finished it. What the fuck is wrong with The Kids Today?


I do understand wanting to get to know dudes in bands you like. Clearly, I get this. I would, as I always do, warn people that often this is HORRIBLE idea because it ruins everything when you realize that dude you thought was fucking A+++ awesomesauce is actually a douche. This happens, sadly, quite a lot. There's only one dude in a band that leaps instantly to mind that I like more knowing him. (Ben Nichols from Lucero, who is really sort of disgustingly dreamy. I hate you, Ben, for being so awesome, I wish you weren't so I could stop going to your shows as I hate your fans.) As a general rule, musicians are just average people, so there's a lot of variation in their level of head-up-assedness. I really can't stress enough that your projected ideals of these dudes is in no way an accurate representation of them. You can't figure a guy out through the lyric of his songs. Belief that you can leads to heartbreak when you find out the lyrics of his songs don't mean what you think they did, and, ooops, massive douchebag, and shit his music's ruined forever. It's probably better to just listen to Neil Diamond or something, 'cause he seems like a fine individual.

Aaaaaaaaanyway, what really bothers me is how this "groupie" thing is really just yet another example of girls trying to fit in and be cool through their sex appeal and worth in relation to how mean perceive them. How about you pick up a guitar and start your own band? Why not start a PR company? A booking/management team? Anything whatsoever besides sucking some dude's dick in a grimy venue bathroom to get some validation that now that you're braces are off and you dropped the baby fat, you're hot enough for a guy in a band to fuck? Get some motherfucking self respect Becky Blowjob and talk to the cool girls in the back of the room for their myspaces and facebooks, they WANT to support other girls in the scene and will help you any way they can. They probably have embarrassing stories about bathroom blowjobs, too, so they will understand your rocky beginnings as a cool rock chick.

Hm, this might become a real article if I'm still inflamed about it when I come home from family dinner tonight. I always feel awkward posting anything w/ real life info about me unlocked, but whatever, these are my thoughts on this.